JOURNAL// "What happened when I started to accept myself and my curves." // by Kelly Mason

Updated: Nov 23, 2020

Feeling beautiful In the "Lana" Dress by @FaraBoutique

I was always told that we are naturally is the very thing that suits us best. This was another of my starting points when it came to accepting myself as I am and beginning to feel beautiful within. Not only within my curves and the physical body but also all my features that God gave me, or more accurately, the genes that my Mother and Father gave to me to make me.

I have always been very curvy, in fact during my life my weight has always fluctuated and it is only since developing a healthy plant based lifestyle and taking on the practice of Yoga and a more active lifestyle that suits my constitution (the way I am built) and further understanding the way that my body digests certain foods as well as exploring and discovering what activities and how much activity suits my build that I have now maintained a nice weight and size that I am happy with.

I feel like my body is the way that it is supposed to be when a body is treated right, with respect and overall self love and care.

During this time not only did I begin to discover a glimpse into my potential within my body and within my mind but I also began to accept my body the way that it is. Mostly due to the fact that now I was treating my body correctly and I was discovering that with correct care what results came from it both superficially and subtly.

But for a long time there were many things that I didn't like about my body, about the way that I looked and the biggest shifts against these feelings has only been over the last 6 years.

When I began to change my outlook, when I began to change my lifestyle, when I began changing my conditioning, when I changed my mind set and when I changed the application of myself to myself I began to accept myself as myself.

Exuding confidence in my curves in the beautiful @StudioTia Bikini.

I used to hate the size of my hips

I used to hate the shape and size of my breasts

I used to hate the broadness of my shoulders

I used to have a love and hate relationship with the size of my butt

An I used to hate my stretch marks which was a direct result of the curves I hated

To go further and beyond the actual shape of the body I was given I also used to...

Hate the shape of my ears

Hate my baby fine hair

Hate the shape of my nose

Hate the size of my chin

Hate the length of my fingers

Hate the size of my teeth and gum ratio

Hate that I had thin lips

Hate my height

& I hated my eyebrows

The biggest thing now that stands out for me in all of the above is the "used to" and now not the hate or the particular body part or shape.

As I have gained more experience, as I have seen more and more things, as I have gone through trial and major errors when it comes to the way that I carry myself, the way I hold my self, what makeup I would or would not wear and what clothes I would put on my body. Most of all my overall attitude towards myself and what it was that I lead myself to believe to be the standard of what is beautiful... I have now grown to love myself the way I am and the curves that come along with me also.

Now, with time, age, understanding, shifts, shedding and through experience...

The size of my hips I used to hate I now accept fully . I now identify this to be one of the biggest parts of myself that I identify with as womanly. It is this very shape that attracts the opposite sex instinctually.

It is the shape that makes jeans fit so nicely. It is the shape that help me hold and carry myself so steadily and strong.

I now accept and love the size an shape of my breasts and so does my love (which by the way also contributed towards me loving myself more - the way my partner reacts when he sees me naked!! )

I now accept my height fully. What has my height kept me from doing in my life anyway? I am an average height and I found I actually really like my size comparing myself to my boyfriends height. I'm thankful that its too cute that to kiss him I have to stand a little on my toes.

Now, I accept the broadness of my shoulders as instead of noticing how broad they are I now notice, after shifting my attitude towards myself, when I wear the right outfit the dress drapes from me as if from a hanger presenting the beautiful piece for the first time.

I now notice that my arms and shoulders are strong and they help aid me into and out of inversions with grace during my Yoga practice.

That I have an overall strong and athletic build that enables me to do many things for myself where otherwise I would have to ask someone to do many tasks for me.

I now love my butt and so do many around me! ;) When I was young I was beyond curvy for my years and the body didn't quiet fit the age but now, now I am a women the butt fits perfectly and I wouldn't have it any other way...

Now I accept that I have many stretch marks, they cover my inner and outer thighs and are all over my bum, but I love them, I accept them, because they are apart of me and they are apart of many other, if not most, women and if I accept them within me I accept the beauty within theirs also!

An then we come to the last details of myself I used to pick apart. Like shape of my nose I now know fits the shape of my face and any other nose I may have desired would not be the one I was given, not be the one that suits my face best, would not be the one I inherited from both my parents - The cute ending from my Dad and the slim and length of it from my Mother.

My chin I now accept its shape for the very reason that the shape I hated was at the times when I smiled - an how can I hate something that is part of a time when I am at my happiest?

I have also grown to love my chin as it turns out it is one of the most desired features of mine in my boyfriends eyes.

When it comes to my fingers, I now think "who the fuck cares they are only fingers man!!"

My teeth. I now think, "thank you for my good genes!!!" I am thankful that they are white and clean and straight and neat !

And lastly, my thin, baby like ash blonde hair I finally grew to love. Instead of dying it, instead of styling it I let go of all of it. I let it all grow out and long and its natural and it gives me minimal fuss. Actually its now even my "bed head, don't give a fuck" hair look and its suits me and my personality and its beautiful.