Reflections and writing a journal was something I picked up a little later in my life...
Although I have always written, whether it be short stories or writing poems, I never actually wrote my own journal anything longer than a week while I was growing up.
The first time I dedicated myself to writing a journal was back in 2016 - I had just moved from Melbourne city after deciding to move back home.
This was one of the most significant turning points within my life.
During my time in Melbourne I experienced so much from embarrassment doing my first Yoga auditions to teaching a full room of advanced students at peak time in one of the most beautiful studios in one of the most beautiful cities I have ever lived in within just a few months of me becoming a teacher.
It was a time when I experienced living with my first boyfriend and watching him strive for his identity of becoming a Theatre Director.
It was the first time I had lived away from home in a beautiful, stylish apartment we shared with an aspiring photographer and charismatic school & rugby teacher.
It was here that I found myself living just one suburb away from a city and I would bike to each and every one of the classes I taught while dining high quality plant based cuisine and shopping at sustainable, ethical organic stores first igniting a real passion and want to know and understand more and more about veganism and what it meant to really have a healthy way of living.
This was the first time within my life that I was experiencing a glimpse of how I wanted to live my life. Organically, ethically, minimalistic and with my work being in line with my morals, my standard and my ethics as well as being in love and having access to so many different pleasures that come with living in a city; like vegan Thai cuisine at 10pm any night of the week or attending a yoga class any time of the day in some of the most beautiful studies and with some of the most beautiful and talented teachers I have ever experienced.
In total I lived in Melbourne just over a year until the living dream was to come to its end.
It seems that me and my then boyfriend decided to end our relationship and after a few days of crying into my pillow and being unable to sleep or eat I decided that my time in Melbourne came to the end of its beautiful struggle.
Once this was decided the healing process began and within the space of a week I handed in my notice to five different studios and the Italian restaurant I was doing extra hours in to go get my ass on a plane back to the uk.
When I arrived home my Mother was worried as to what she would be faced with when I arrived but she was scaredy surprised when I arrived that I seemed fine even though I had just left behind my dream life and an Australian native man who I fell in love with.
Even though of course I could have taken myself into a fit of depression and pessimistic outlook I decided not to. I decided to dedicating to write everyday and try to appreciate everything that I learnt and experienced over the previous year.
It was here, at the age of 26 that I bought myself a journal, committed myself to writing in it everyday detailing what I was grateful inclusive of the ongoings in abstract and my thought processes and to continue ensuring that my life would only get better than it was before.
I wrote throughout the entirety of 2016 and I would like to share with you a few snippets of my reflections journal during this time baring in mind that at this time I was facing a mountain of struggle though loss, insecurity and the unknown and yet I still finding, through writing, the beautiful details and gratitude in each of my days during the process...
"Everyone has choice, whether to or not to raise their voices...its you that decides."
"All you need is love"
"A yoga class this evening with my beautiful friend Calum. My practice tonight will be beautiful."
January 6th 2016
"Sickness has taken over my body and I feel in pain so I have taken it upon myself to stay in bed and enjoy it fully."
"Life is sweet - always remember this."
"I love the smells of orange and vanilla essential oils - it reminds me of so many things"
January 7th 2016
"Today I wrote personal letters to three very beautiful and significant people in my life."
January 11th 2019
"No music has been with me much today but there is always tomorrow"
January 17th 2019
"You've got, the most unbelievable blue eyes I've ever see.
As we lay there, under a blue sky of pure white stars started sweetness & magical times."
February 7th 2016
"My therapy today is listening to Rodreguez"
February 21st 2016
"But if a man be alone let him look at the stars"
February 28th 2016
"Making sure that I put into practice growing as a teacher ensuring that I continuously strive to learn more. To be more present and aware. Keep going, keep growing."
March 3rd 2016
"Dont let me slide into my dark side." Enjoying music as I work. Slow paced. As I dream, organise shit in my mind.
"Cause its been so damn hard since her man left town"
March 21st 2016
"Discipline - get some more.. Light the spark - it only takes a little more effort to keep it going."
April 13th 2016
"Today I made a beautiful human connection"
April 25th 2016
"I was gifted a beautiful broad bean seedling today - Beautiful joy."
My 6th 2016
"Holy shit I just lost four days but gained a beautiful ......"
May 29th 2016
"Fuck me I'm free and it feels so good"
June 11th 2016
"Homemade dessert ; Pan fried cinnamon banana W oat and almond crumble draped with coconut yogurt topped with nutmeg and caramelised walnuts & coconut flakes"
June 27th 2016
"I eat too much food - I have an emotional attachment to food."
September 11th 2016
"Spending the afternoon with coffee beans and wifi."
October 28th 2016
"Feeling lucky but at the same time knowing nothing is permanent"
October 30th 2016
"Life is love, sweet love and nothing less"
December 25th 2016
They were simple words, sometimes merely reflections of moments in one of my days but to me it was my therapy, it was my reflective expressions through a time where it was only me who could support me though a massive shift and change in my life at that time.
My journal taught me to see the beauty within pain.
My journal showed me that I could express myself to my self open and honestly.
Reflections allowed me to spend time looking at the details of each and every day. The details within each and every other moment.
Reflections taught me how to smile through my tears.
Reflections taught me to understand my reactions and responses in all of my ongoings.
Reflections taught me to slow down and appreciate more of my experiences.
Journaling and reflecting taught me how to know and understand myself much more, it taught and showed me to understand and accept my emotions, my fluctuations and my behaviours.
Most of all reflecting and journaling taught me to heal and move forward with appreciation for all my experiences and through all of my growth.
So what are you waiting for... why don't you try, take some time out and take up daily reflections as a practice or make it a daily ritual to journal your moments, how you spend your time and where it is spent and watch how it enhances appreciation and gratefulness within living each of your days no matter what it is that you are going through.