Ill start with the necessary and that is some of the many negatives in which jealousy causes....
* Pain and sorrow to the usually both the individuals
* Growing uncertainty
* Growing separation between you and the other
* Less trust
* More uncertainty
* Seeking, looking, searching for the reasons in which will support your thoughts
* Your accusations and the ways in which you are digesting external information around you is tainted and overcast by this emotion
* The distorted jealous view point or stand point not only about not just one particular situation but many
Just a few...So why then do we allow space and sometimes a growing space of this quality?
When jealousy takes control, you are then out of control.
The way in which you would normally find yourself behaving is no longer the case and something else takes over and you can’t help but be pushed aside. and along with this you find that other such positive qualities that you had, in the past, possessed so well, are also pushed off to the side.
Qualities such as a wider understanding, the ability to look at the circumstances from a logical perspective, Calmness or if you have ever been lucky enough; the quality to not allow emotions to take over your being.
Why is one jealous?
Maybe unfulfillment of oneself and what one feels one’s duties are?
Possible lack of personal hobby and lack of correct focus in the more beneficial aspects of ones living?
An I will mention of course, it maybe true, an I'm sorry ladies, for some women a certain time of the month can for sure enhance one’s qualities that are already present, but it does not and is not an excuse for the qualities being there in the first place.
If the quality isn’t within the individual in the first place then how can this quality grow.? There is nothing to grow if the quality isn’t already present.
Is its previous betrayal? Is it previous hurt the individual has experienced in the past and has an echoing fear that it will repeat?
Does this quality creep into to an individual who is insecure about who they are and what they represent?
Does this quality plant its seeds within you when you find that you don’t feel beautiful? That you don’t feel good enough? That you maybe don’t deserve?
What is it that makes one jealous?
Of course, the actions of the other individual involved has a major role to play at times, but what if the partner has not given any reason for this jealousy to arise?
We will say that the other and their behaviours is not a factor and does not contribute towards this being the way that you are allowing yourself to feel.
We can say then that it is something within the one who is jealous and doesn’t, in this instance, have anything to do with any external factors that the individual has experienced with the other so far within their specific relationship.
So, the individual has been betrayed in the past? Or the individual is not for filled with who they are this day and in this moment of jealousy?
Or maybe both are accurate theories? Supporting, bouncing and playing off one another to further encourage the quality in question. That of Jealousy.
To get out of being drowned and the relationship being drowned by this quality one must remain calm and logical and begin to identify and uncover as to where the root of this quality and it being able to grow.
The reason I write this article today is because I possess the quality of jealousy and within me currently it is rather enhanced.
I don’t recognise myself in the way that I perceive and react to the world around me when I am in this quality. But surely it is me, as it is me who is the one who is reacting to the world outside? Or is it? Or is it jealousy that has taken over my being and it is now it that is interacting with my world around me. Fucking everything up.
Although it may be easier to identify with jealousy as the mover behind the action however that would maybe be a coward or an ignorant way out.
Even though we can see the quality within the action being jealousy it is still me that is allowing without really being aware and what seems like uncontrollably letting the actions of mine be the result of not me and my logical view but of jealousy channelling through me.
If we look at the potentially ever-growing quality that is jealousy, we will find that it has no logic, we can find that it has no real understanding, that it can’t help but for fill itself when it is present by being exactly what it is .... Of a jealous nature.
But we can understand, and we can find logic if we only put in practice the seeking of the logic and understanding. We can for fill ourselves as humans to use our will in these times and choose not to allow jealousy to manifest into our external environments.
It’s a nice visual to imagine any quality, good or bad as a flower that is not yet a flower, we can imagine that we are planting gently the seed of faith or the seed of love and how well we would take care of it as it grows from seed to stem to bud to blossom. But yet when we look at the seed that is the quality of jealousy we don’t seem to understand that if you choose to feed the seed of this quality that it will grow the same as any good quality seed you care for.
Do not give into jealousy.
Rightly, if external facts and situations are getting you to the point of seeing even glimpses of this quality in yourself the first question we might ask is "is this you or is this external?" "Is this feeling justifiable with evidence to support such a feeling?"
If this is your belief and you truly believe, then you should extract yourself from that reality immediately no matter how hard it seems to do so at the time.
No one deserves to feel jealous.
No one deserves to feel a negative quality if they can help it.
And if one can help it, one should extract themselves from being involved in or around any such situation.
When it is internally that this seed is planted it is it here first that one should attempt to deal with the emotion? Not allowing, by choice, for this seed to grow.
What if it gets past the planted seed point and we have already began to feed the seed with our jealousy supporting thoughts, which so often happens?
And this is where I am, this is what is currently happening with me. Going further as I find that I am feeding the seed and as I do this, I am losing more and more of my control, my will seems so far away from me making me alienated to my human ability, to have choice.
I am becoming powerless as the stem begins to gain strength and buds on the plant begin to appear.
And we can all picture this now right. This seed. Its growing stem, its buds revelling themselves on each new stem that sprouts.... and all from a tiny seed - look how big it is growing and so fast.
From this you can only imagine if I allow your minds to personally wonder what thoughts are there that are feeding this seed. What situation and the fear which is present that it allows more space for the seed to spread its roots growing "downwards" and its stem continuing to grow upwards in my limited space of emotional storage.
Where does it stop? An unmaintained and unclipped Jealous tree right in the middle of your internal garden - Taking over, requiring space, dominating the other quality trees in the garden that you have taken so much time in refining, pruning and spreading to make your internal world beautiful.
And this, this jealous tree is spreading like a weed in your garden.
But we can, and we have it within our will to clip back the weeds. We have the will and the choice and the power to control these qualities that sometimes we feel we are taken over by.
Of course, first thing is first, do not ever believe that you can be taken over by this. Although it could happen...
don’t let it.
Jealousy can become you, of course only for a moment in time but that moment could become so damaging to what you presently have that we should 'nip' this quality in the 'bud' even before it has the chance to manifest.
When it comes to my personal experience with jealousy it has only happened to me from a man once and this was my first love. He was beautiful but possessive. Jealous of other man looking at me and talking to me - I don’t know if it was wrong but who was I to know any different - he was my first love and I was a young teenage girl in love.
Since then the men I have chosen to be a part of my life have been a little more open minded, they have had more experience and therefor a larger perspective on life especially how they have chosen how they want to deal with this quality that is innate in all of us.
So then, since it seems to have slightly shifted, it is now me that becomes jealous of the man in my life. Or to be more specific not so much of the man but being affected by the women in daily contact with the man I am with.
So maybe it isn’t jealousy in the relationship at all? Maybe its jealousy of other women that is the problem? But still this doesn't help as now I am asking myself where does this possibility stem from?
My insecurity as a woman visually, my mental status weak, is this the reason and its being reflected in the way I am being affected by the women around me?
There cant be any avoiding of there being other women in the world, Smarter women, "MORE" successful "MORE" beautiful, "MORE" calm, "MORE" Feminine.
I can’t expect my partner to be a horse on rains, with coverings on his eyes only looking in the direction that he is going and nowhere else - this wouldn’t be right, this wouldn’t be fair and I would be restricting the being and beauty that is my partner. A being of curiosity, a being that wants to explore, see, share and interact with his externals.
I can’t think that it is OK to allow this quality into my relationship and assume "only in such circumstances" will this be an issue and bury the quality that can continue to grow in me under the ground of my internal world - The internal world that directly effects my eternal and everything involved in it.
If I was to attempt this approach I would be sadly mistaken and the universe finds what we are seeking, an if the quality of jealousy is seeking support, it will find and the universe will create more situations for me to be tested to tame my behaviour and reactions.
So, then there is something that only I can do?
Taming and eliminating this quality is only something I can do from the inside.
I cannot feed the seed of jealousy and I must ensure it does not get its nutrients and I have to avoid creating an internal environment for this quality of jealousy to grow.
Overall it is about killing the seed. Not allow it to grow and take over any space of productivity, a positive and clear outlook....
If any of you are interested about how my 'Journey out of Jealousy' goes do stay in touch.
An to all my jealous ladies and gents out there... Good luck on your journey out of jealousy.
Please, if you have any questions please write a comment on this article and I will do my best to respond well.